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 ----so when the two pre-teen boys came to the reference department today, asking for the book on pirateology, I thought I wouldn't even need to look at the catalog. Following the reference maxim that "the patron is always wrong" I figured we would have books on the history of pirates and pirating. Arr, off to the 910 section, should find numerous books on pirates. Did so. They didn't want any I showed them, not no way, not no how. One of them asked me if I had the book on wizardology. Fortunately for me, I successfully resisted the urge to be patronizing and smirk, "Little boy, there's no such thing as wizardology." Good thing. Because the other little beggar suddenly pounced and came up with:

http://www.amazon.com/Pirateology-Pirate-Hunters-Companion-Ologies/dp/0763631434/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1209875113&sr=1-1

Goddam children's book writers, coming up with fascinating children's books that the ignormaouses in the adult department know nothing about. Part of a series, including, of course Wizardology. Another reference maxim bites the dust, another lesson in humility forcibly administered.


Skyward ho!
Lord Pomposo
 
 
Current Mood: Exasperation
Current Music: "With Pleasure - Dance Hilarious" by John Philip Sousa
 
 
03 May 2008 @ 11:11 am

The odds are huge that all who will read this read science fiction by the barrel. In which case you have likely wondered about First Contact, with aliens (the Internal Revnue Service and the 50 Child Protective Services in these States do not count.) Mr. Nick Bostrom in the latest TECHNOLOGY REVIEW has a fine article on why he hopes we DON'T find traces of life in the Solar System, and why finding it would be dismaying, getting worse as the life forms discovered get more complex. You can read this article here:

http://www.technologyreview.com/Infotech/20569/?a=f

(You must sit through a 30 second ad to start with.)

Many thanks to Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit for pointing this out.

 
 
03 May 2008 @ 11:09 am
To all of you who sent virtual hugs, emails, and kind wishes on the death of Bill Davis. I am going to his funeral on Monday, a dismal prospect, so the kind wishes were a good antidote.
 
 

Once upon a time there were two college undergraduates. Both had a bent for science, though in the end, neither followed that path. One day, the first one, whom we will call Greg because that is his name, wondered what the volume of a dormitory room in Waller Hall, Washington State University, was. The other, whom we will call Bill because his name was William Eben Davis Jr. , said it shouldn't be hard to find out. Greg said, we could measure the room and calculate it. Bill said, no, that's too complicated, too much arithmetic and all that, besides the room is full of furniture and stuff and I want to know the volume of usable space. There's an easier way: 

1. Take newspaper page and crumple it.
2. Measure volume of crumpled newspaper
3. Throw it on the floor.
4. Repeat steps 1-3 until the room is full, counting each newspaper ball.

Greg had to admit this would get the answer. An admirable scheme, destined to increase the sum of human knowledege, had to be tried out. At once! How to do it? The answer flashed into the minds of our undergraduates, neither yet 21, full of sass and testosterone. There was a resident of Waller Hall, Mr. Roger Lind, alias "Brick." There are two competing accounts of how he got his name:

1. The charitable, (Bill) hold that it came from the sharp, hard, angular edges of a personality that had the impact (and results) of a brick tossed through a window.
2. The malicious (Greg) hold it came from the shape and color of his face and head.

Regardless of the origins of his "handle" both our heroes decided "Brick's" room was the one that needed measuring. After some efforts to collect the newspaper needed, and a little burglarous work, the room was entered, the newspaper crumpled, and the answer found. Just what that answer was I'd had to dig through the archives to tell you. I can tell you from memory that "Brick" was not at all interested in what the volume of his room was. No. His personality and the color of his face were on full display. The scientific attitude dictated that we should have observed this in a detached way, but both of us were laughing too hard.

Despite our scientific quests, we both managed to graduate, and as happens to many college friendships, drifted apart. I haven't seen Bill since 1987. Nor will I for some time. About two hours ago, I got a call from a mutual friend. Bill died of a heart attack last Saturday morning. He was a security guard, and died while making his rounds. So it is likely he died even more so than we all will: alone, in the dark hours of the morning. I can't express how wrong that was. I'm not smiling at this minute, but that was not Bill's way, as you can see from the picture [which the devil machine refuses to post. Try the link---GK]. I've looked through the few pictures I have of him, and he is smiling in every one. While he had his despairs as every human does, they did not show, even though the health problems Bill had made his life worse than most of us would like.

Bill, it wasn't fair of you to die on me at 49. You died much too young. But you would have died too young had you been one hundred and forty nine. Besides the grief I feel tonight, I now have to worry that when it is my turn, and I arrive at my cubicle in either the Celestial, or more likely, Infernal Region, I will try to open the door, it will resist in a springy way, and balls of newspaper will tumble around my feet. Along with this note:

Dear GK: 

The volume of this room is ------ newspaper balls.
What took you so long? 
See you soon.

Bill

I'll be smiling then, and  with no heavy heart. But tonight I'll turn down an empty glass.   Vaya con Dios, Bill.

[Characteristically the devil machine refuses to post the photograph I had in mind. So a link will have to do:]

http://www.angelfire.com/wa/MasonicCenter/links2.html

Master, W.B. Bill Davis Jr
1959-2008
Requiscat in pacem
Friend of my youth

 
 
Current Mood: Downcast
Current Music: "Here Today and Gone Tomorrow" by Ray Conniff
 
 
 Damned devil machine seems to have consumed the first attempt:

http://www.gasbuddy.com/gb_gastemperaturemap.aspx
 
 
Current Mood: unsettled
Current Music: "Voices That Care"
 
 

Subject: The hell with short story writing, how can you surpass this?

http://www.yaledailynews.com/articles/view/24513

The rising generation at Yale has tossed both of us into the ash can. Why bother with short stories, or prose writing of any sort when this new art form is available? If it's a gag, who needs satire? If it is not a gag, who will ever bother with reading again. Such projects make me want to accept Hell, Devil & Co's offer of twenty seven cents for my soul, along with everyone else's on the Earth. Give the planet over to the ants, and let them try.

I have spoken.

Best regards,
Lord Pomposo

UPDATE:  Ah. Now it seems an uproar has arisen at Yale, and whaddya know, the quack-in-training has gone from bawling about "...patriarchal heteronormative trappings trappings of a right to speak..."  to claiming it was all performance art and she dint reely do it. This q-i-t was  class valedictorian at her high school, the very exclusive Buckley. Good God. On the other hand, all those insecurities at being rejected by the Ivy League suddenly have gone away. More at:

http://americandigest.org/mt-archives/bad_americans/abortion_goo_gi.php



Hahahahahaha.

Current mood: Sourly amused
Current music: "Be Prepared" by Tom Lehrer
 
 
Current Mood: gloomy
Current Music: Piano Sonata No.2 a/k/a "Funeral March" by Frederic Chopin
 
 
15 April 2008 @ 11:22 pm

I swear too much. Or, as Don Marquis, of Archy fame, would say, "You swear too goddam much, Koster." Today, the swearing vocabulary got a workout in every known language up to, and including Old Swahili. It happened this way:

California state has its own method of making its citizenry feel needed, called the California State Income Tax, Form 540, produced by the Franchise Tax Board. Even though I left California at the end of 2006, I still had to file as my final check from the Fresno County Free Library came in 2007, complete with vacation cashout. But the FTB spit on its hands, raised the skull and crossbones flag, and went into action howling. Why? A little history:

1. From 1993--1997, I worked for the King County Archives in Seattle. It was as "extra help" meaning I got an hourly wage, and nothing more. Fair enough, I thought. Trouble is, the union did not agree and sued King County. Their objection was that when extra help was used for years, as King County did (and does), it was really a form of part time permanent work, and should get benefits. The courts agreed after many years and appeals. In lieu of benefits, everyone got a check, courtesy of the sweating taxpayers. I didn't get this check until 1999. I didn't earn a penny of it in California; I was gone from the Archives for seven months before I began working in Tulare County, CA. I thought this meant I owed no CA income tax. Wrong, says CA's Franchise Tax Board, swinging its cutlass, and swigging from a bottle of rum. We count it as California income if you receive it while in CA, even if you earned it elsewhere. So I cursed and swore in every known language up to and including Old Swahili. Fat lot of good that did; the Hook was ready for action, and there were only 14 men on the dead man's chest. So I paid up, having learned that lesson. I thought.

2. In 2006, I took a  job here in Washington state. One of the reasons I left in a hurry was that I wanted to get out of CA by the end of the year. I did so, leaving on 24 December. I knew I would be getting a large final check from Fresno County, cashing out my vacation time I had accumulated. It came late in January of 2007. No problem, right? I received the money AFTER I left CA on 24 December 2006. I even had a witness to my leaving CA, the Honorable Robert Hole Esq.  So, following the 1999 precedent, it should not be taxable. Right?

Wrong.

Mac the accountant sez that CA has changed its position, and if it is earned in CA, it is CA income, no matter where it is received. Ground my teeth and said, OK, let's file an amended 1999 return. No, can't, sez Mac. Statute of limitations is three years. So followed an exceptionally fluent round of cursing, which did no good in the face of the ancient legal principle What're Ya Gonna Do About It, Hey Sucker? And, for $497, what are ya gonna do about it? Face the Hook from long distance? Ha!

God dam the Franchise Tax Board, and their Perpetual Motion Tax Code! I call on my California friends to join me in this enterprise. Let Arnold develop the largest set of piles in the universe!

I have spoken.

Best regards,
Lord Pomposo

 
 
Current Mood: 200 proof irascible
Current Music: "Ride of the Valkyries" by Richard Wagner
 
 
01 April 2008 @ 11:43 pm
 Right here:

http://creativeclass.typepad.com/thecreativityexchange/2008/03/the-singles-map.html




This explains 99.44% of behavior, here and elsewhere.

Best regards,
Lord Pomposo
 
 
Current Mood: Exhausted
Current Music: Flight of the Bumblebee by Rimsky-Korsakov
 
 
31 March 2008 @ 07:18 pm

They are not, to be sure, the vermin who run UPS, and can never---ever---be a threat to the United States Postal Service, but until today I had not seen them in any malign light.

No more.

What the hell was the poor guy to do? He has fourteen years experience as a security guard, and knew a supervisor in the FedEx security business. Said supervisor is impressed with him, told him to apply, using the online form at FedEx's website. This supervisor is doubtless affiliated with the crowd of swine who hacked the Epilepsy Foundation's website as I mentioned in my last entry. Our hero has no more computer skills than I have sympathy for Al Gore. So he did what such folks always do: went to the library. Showed him the FedEx website, which was designed by User Hostile And Don't You Forget It You Sonofoabitch Inc., Software Developers, a Microsoft organization. Finally got him to the application. Are you surprised when I tell you that his typing speed exceeded a glacier's advance, though not by much? And that his talent for disorganization exceeded even mine? While you would think this would merely turn applying for a job into an endurance contest with numerous forays into the Wilderness of Frustration. But Pierce County's computers have a feature that makes the endurance contest into a life-and-death matter: when you sign on to one of our guest computers, you are allowed sixty minutes, before it logs you off automatically.

The Federal Express job application form does not have a "save" feature.

Twice the poor devil tried to finish his application and failed. What makes it worse, he did not have a Pierce County card, and does not qualify for one, living in the City of Tacoma. Did I tell you that Pierce County and the City of Tacoma share about twenty miles of border, and there must be 400, 000 people who live within one mile of said border? So there are thousands who live close to a library, whether Pierce County's or the City of Tacoma's, but can't use it, and have to drive to one farther away? Federalism, anyone? Such folks have to rely on the charity of librarians handing out guest passes.

Never say die: the third time, I saved his work to a floppy. Then found you could not cut and paste from the floppy to the FedEx website, at least not at a rate that would get it done in one hour. By this time, the circulation staff, who have to ride herd on the Internet users, are giving me the Evil Eye, as Pierce County limits public computer use to two hours. Librarians can override this limit, but it is not encouraged, because management thinks, quite correctly, that such use is not efficient, nor fair to other users. What to do? Put him on my machine at the Reference Desk? That would  get me into enough hot water to solve the nation's energy crisis. Do it myself for him? Start going down that road and you rapidly become a beast of burden for everyone else. 

I gave him another guest pass. But before he got on the mighty Devil Machine for the fourth time, I printed out the FedEx form from what I had saved from the disk. Made him fill out this paper form completely. This converted his task into simple typing, without having to stop and think of correct answers.

The fourth time he completed the form in 47 minutes.

The devil machine would not accept it.

I thought he was going to cry. I thought I was going to cry. Instead I gave FedEx a good round cursing, and tried to find out what was wrong. It was this: FedEx provides space for you to list your last seven jobs. He had only held four. No problem, leave the last three blank, right?

No. Nein, nyet, nicht, nr, non, いいえ, nao, Нет, nononononono. You are NOT to be forgiven of your sin of wanting to work for the Federal Express Corporation. No, no. Hahahahahahahaha, no indeed.

It seems that every blank spot on the app has to be filled in, or the mighty Devil Machine will reject it. Four minutes of fiddling persuaded me that filling in the blanks with "NA" would do the job.  Eight minutes to go. No chance he can type that fast. He has the fatal trait in such a situation: he wants to argue with the idiot devil machine that is indifferent to all arguments, but is content to let the clock tick as inexorably as the clock ticks for March Madness, with the same disastrous result for the applicant.

Off I went. Copy "NA" hit the tab key, Cntrl-V, tab, Cntrl-V....Done. The warning message came up about a minute ago, but I still have a minute.

It wouldn't take it. Panic. What to do? Look at the top of the app. I have missed a space in the form. Somewhere, there is an empty space with no "NA" in it. But where? Could FedEx provide a form that highlights errors, making it a little easier to correct them? No. Nein, nyet, nicht---good Lord, you've gone through that already. Excuse me, I beg your pardon. So I searched manually.

I didn't find the blank space before---Well, you know.

Kinko's I  said to him faintly, knowing dam well that a) they will soak him twelve bucks an hour to use their devil machines and b) Kinko's is a FedEx subsidiary, so FedEx will soak the poor devil just to apply. It's a systemic failure, that doesn't appear to have any practicable solution. Even if the devil himself should appear before Tom Schmitt, FedEx's top boss, and make him reform the idiotically complicated form (which, I note, has been contracted out to an outfit called iCIMS, to take just such complaints off of FedEx), I'd still have to persuade Pierce County to allow librarians to override the time limits,  guaranteeing that I would become the most harried and hated man on staff.

So once again, we have Twenty First Century Technology and Bureaucratic Structures: Twenty Three Billion, Human Beings, 8, counting conversions. Another massacre. It doesn't seem right. Stop laughing. It's true, arguing with the universe is even more pointless than arguing with ticking devil machines. End this adventure with words of wisdom from Stephen Crane. From THE BLACK RIDERS:

“A man said to the universe: 
"Sir, I exist!"
 "However," replied the universe,
 "The fact has not created in me a sense of obligation”

Crane has spoken. So loudly that I can't shut off the boldface.

Best regards,
Lord Pomposo

 
 
Current Mood: Irascible
Current Music: Last thirty seconds of "The Pride of the Wolverines" by John Philip Sousa
 
 
31 March 2008 @ 07:16 pm

I've never been shy about denouncing villainy as swinish, but this episode breaks new ground:

http://www.wired.com/politics/security/news/2008/03/epilepsy

Many thanks to Instapundit for leading me to this.

 
 
Current Mood: Vile
 
 
25 March 2008 @ 06:26 pm

---far too much time has elapsed since my last. To make up for this, let's give something to folks who love to bash Bush. Today the Supreme Court ruled on the case of MEDELLIN v. TEXAS, saying Bush had overstepped himself and should butt out. You can't improve on the new York TIMES headline:

Justices Rule Against Bush on Death Penalty Case 

That'll show that arrogant Bush!  Here's how the Court kicked Bush around:

Jose Medellin, a Mexican national, was accused and convicted of raping and strangling to death two teenage girls in Houston in 1993. He was sentenced to death. The verdict was appealed up to the Texas Supreme Court. However, despite being read his MIRANDA rights, Texas law enforcement did not let  Medellin know that he could talk to a Mexican diplomat. This right was covered by a treaty, the Vienna Convention on Consular Relations. In 2004, the World Court said Texas had to abide by the Convention. Texas courts declined to do so. After Medellin exhausted his Texas appeals, Bush intervened, ordering the Texas courts to apply the Convention. Texas appealed, and today the Supreme Court said that Bush has no right to order Texas STATE courts around. So Medellin's execution will proceed. My bet is it won't go far, but this latest round to stop it has failed. 

That'll teach Bush to try to stop executions by invoking foreign law!

I have spoken

Best regards,
Lord Pomposo

 
 
Current Mood: mischievous
 
 
21 March 2008 @ 12:26 am

In this political year, we've heard on numerous occasions that  a candidate has taken dough from some dubious character, and now has to get rid of this dirty money. Silly me, I would have just returned it to the donor. But no--the dough must be purified by being given to charity. What sort of charity is so hard up that dirty money is not only acceptable but welcome?

Hey you out there! What're you waiting for? Registering yourself with the American Internal Revenue Service as a 501c(3) charity isn't that hard. Now is your chance to do your  patriotic duty. Let me step forward;

TO ALL POLITICAL CANDIDATES


The Against Charlie Finlay League is ready and willing to take all that loot off your hands, thereby cleansing your political souls and making you a candidate people can vote FOR. Your dough will be put to the most American of uses: giving the compettion the works. Don't delay: send your blood money today!

 
 
Current Mood: Up too late
Current Music: "Sunday Evening"
 
 

I don't normally regret being an adult reference librarian, but today's stint at the University Place branch of the Pierce County Library System, but today was an eye opener. Putting out the usual fires of "Where's your tax forms? Do you help people with their taxes?" (Twenty eight days to go.) But coming back from one trip to the forms table they had set up, the eyes flew wide open: there, in the dimmed meeting room, two male teens were standing, jerking and twitching in a manner that my vast knowledge of horror fiction immediately enabled me to determine that they were demonically possessed. Bawling don't panic!, I promptly summoned the Army, the Marines, the Air Force, the Presiding Bishop of the Lutheran Church I belonged to, Barack Obama and His Demonic Pastor, and laid siege. But Lord Pomposo never looked more foolish when he discovered that the jerking and twitching were the teens playing Wii in the meeting room. With the young adult  (YA) librarian. Using Pierce County equipment. For two hours. As part of an "outreach" program. Everyone left in disgust, Barack muttering something about GOP dirty tricks, and the marines sadened that they hadn't had a chance to try out their new tactics on terrorists. Alex, the YA librarian, is twenty two years younger than I am, and did it show when I asked him why they had done this. Outreach, said he.  Outreach? Playing Wii on the County's dime is outreach? Besides, you only had two teens there. Oh, we'll get more as the program progresses, said he, smirking with the calm confidence of someone who knows he has pressed someone's incredulity button, but there's nothing to be done about it. I have not felt so astonished since the time I walked into the City of Puyallup's library and discovered that the staff was reading to a group of dogs, lined up along the south side of the main stacks. This too, was outreach, with the local animal shelter, on the theory that when people want to adopt animals, they go to the library to do so. I hope this theory isn't tested when it comes to making war, even though I have been the buyer for naval history in a library I have worked for.  I also thought I understood English, but I guess I will have to ask someone to translate the word, "outreach." Meanwhile, I leave you with this bit:

Sic transit gloria mundi

Tomorrow: the work of the ACF League goes on.

 
 
Current Mood: Astonished
Current Music: "Fairest of the Fair," by John Philip Sousa
 
 

---but not today. About 4:30 Pacific Time I was showing a patron how you could cut and paste stuff not only from Word documents, but from web pages. To demonstrate, I went to the CNN web page. There it was: Arthur C. Clarke had just died. It shouldn't be surprising as he was 90. But it would have been too soon if he had been 590. The average for the human race just went down a bunch.

Hellward ho!
Lord Pomposo

 
 
Current Mood: gloomy
 
 
18 March 2008 @ 08:13 am

On 10 August 2003, I posted this colossal piece on the SPECULATIONS Rumor Mill site. Now that the SYDNEY's wreck has been located, here it is again, at full velocity. I'm greatly obliged to Tom Williams for letting me know about the finding. (Tom, I couldn't find the post in my own Mill topic, and then thought: did I really hijack Tom's topic with that huge post? I did; I blush; I repeat my obligation to you for letting me know.)

As an introduction: HMAS SYDNEY was an Australian light cruiser (not 'battle' cruiser, as CNN reports) in the Royal Australian Navy in World War II. She was sent to the Mediterranean in 1940, and fought successfully against the Italian navy. After a partial refit, she returned to Australian waters in January 1941, based out of Perth. Early in November 1941, she escorted a troopship toward Singapore. On the way back, she interecepted the German Raider KORMORAN on 19 November. SYDNEY  was a new (built in 1936) light cruiser, much faster, better armored, and somewhat more heavily gunned, than KORMORAN. The ships fought.  KORMORAN  was immobilized after a lucky hit to her engine room. SYDNEY in turn, was hard hit, and torpedoed to boot, by KORMORAN. SYDNEY fled the scene. In the several hours it took to abandon KORMORAN, her crew watched the burning SYDNEY move beyond the horizon. As darkness fell, light from the fires could be seen, vanishing sometime after midnight. Most of KORMORAN' s crew that had survived the battle were picked up by the Australians in the next week. SYDNEY  was never seen again until her recent finding. None of her crew was saved, and only three pieces of wreckage were ever located. Truly, David killed Goliath in this battle. It was a great shock to Australians. I've often thought SYDNEY's loss was the Australian equivalent of what Pearl Harbor did to America. There was a great difference: the mystery of what really happened. All the accounts of the battle came from the German side. Not surprisingly, many Australians didn't find them palatable. Conspiracy theories began to flourish. In 1999, an Australian train driver and engineer, Wesley Olson, published a book: BITTER VICTORY: THE DEATH OF HMAS SYDNEY, that tried to clear up the mystery. I think he did so. What follows is my take on Olson's book:

From the RUMOR MILL, 10 August 2003,  Tom Williams's author topic:

This enormous post began as a brief reply to TomW and DaveK who asked me some questions about a hymn to BITTER VICTORY by Wesley Olson, which I posted in the "What are YOU Reading" topic, message 1154. I had hoped just to answer, but the post just growed, and is now in process of being turned into an article. Forward:

For Dave: I had a look at the website you mentioned and was mightily impressed. Yet the STEPHEN HOPKINS's experience as an American merchant ship that sunk a German surface raider in War II, was not the norm. The British experience was far different, and worse. Usually when the raider met a Royal Navy (RN) ship, it was the Royal Navy that came out second best, unless the RN ship was a lot bigger, and more heavily armed. Even then, the Germans were no pushovers, as what happened to SYDNEY shows.

For Tom: What does Olson think? This is my summary of his 422 page book:

First, there's what Olson calls the "tonnage war." In 1939-41 the Germans were sinking ships far faster than the Allies could build them. By the spring of 1941, the losses exceeded new construction by about 3.5 to 1. The Admiralty responded to this pressure by issuing an instruction to its captains to put the highest priority on capturing enemy MERCHANT ships. There was an additional incentive: doing so got the captain and crew prize money for the capture.

Second, SYDNEY herself. She had faults. The most important was the secondary armament, four 4-inch guns. Their gun crews were not protected, which meant that in a close action, the guns could not be fired, unless the gun crew was willing to be slaughtered. Two other important flaws were having only a single station for director firing, that is, a station where all of SYDNEY's main armament could be controlled and fired. Next, the ship still had a great many wooden furnishings, and the metal portions of the hull had several coats of oil based paint. Finally, all the guns were electric powered, with inadequate backup if the power failed. More, the main switchboard was not beneath the waterline, and was comparatively unprotected from shell fire.

SYDNEY's captain, Joseph Burnett, knew of the 4-inch gun shield flaws at least, and had requested they be repaired. But there was never enough time, and SYDNEY's being stationed in Australia in 1941 put her far below the modification priorities list compared to ships in the Mediterranean. Ironically, if SYDNEY had been seriously damaged, before November 1941, these changes would likely have been made.

Third, the captain and crew. SYDNEY had fought in the Mediterranean in 1940, and had an experienced crew and officers. But nearly all the officers were replaced in the spring of 1941, including Captain Burnett. While the replacements, had had six months to learn the ropes, they had done so in a quiet zone, without being under fire.
The turnover among crew was even greater. So while SYDNEY had a professional crew, it was untested. But then, I doubt if there were any ships in the Royal Navy that had a crew tested in close combat.

Olson then shows some encounters the Royal Navy had with raiders. The Royal Navy's record was mixed, sinking the raiders about as often as the raiders sank the RN ships. The most relevant was battle between CORNWALL, a Royal Navy heavy cruiser (SYDNEY was a light cruiser) and PINGUIN, in the Indian Ocean on 8 May 41. PINGUIN was spotted by CORNWALL's aircraft and chased all day. When CORNWALL finally caught up to PINGUIN, PINGUIN tried to bluff, claiming to be a Norwegian freighter. CORNWALL kept closing, and PINGUIN finally opened fire at 10,500 yards. The second salvo struck CORNWALL, penetrated, and exploded in the steering compartment. CORNWALL lost steering control, and began veering wildly. Worse, the shock had damaged the fire control equipment, and CORNWALL's shots missed by miles. CORNWALL's captain tried to steer away from PINGUIN, but was some time regaining control. In a way this was fortunate, because the rest of PINGUIN's shots and torpedoes missed. CORNWALL was able to regain control, and using her superior speed and gun range, pound PINGUIN to pieces with 8 inch shells. Yet the British Admiralty was cool toward CORNWALL's captain, being critical of the time he took before going into action. No one seems to have realized how near to disaster CORNWALL had come. This insistence on aggressive action was a staple of the Admiralty, largely because of Winston Churchill's prodding. One other bit about the Royal Navy/raider encounters: up to the SYDNEY-KORMORAN battle, invariably the firing began at a long distance. CORNWALL fired at the greatest distance, six miles. But SYDNEY was to take on KORMORAN at about three quarters of a mile.

So. On 11 November 1941, SYDNEY left Fremantle to escort a troopship to the Sunda Strait, where she would hand over and return. On 17 November, she made the rendezvous, and headed for home. She was never seen again, except by the KORMORAN. From KORMORAN's reports, the only first hand testimony, we learn that SYDNEY and KORMORAN sighted each other on 19 November at 1655, range about 20,200 yards. KORMORAN immediately headed directly away from SYDNEY. With her far greater speed (31 versus 17 knots) SYDNEY could easily overhaul her. But this meant a stern chase. If you want to identify a ship, a broadside view is best. Trying to get a broadside view, while maintaining distance is time consuming and sunset was due about 1845, less than two hours away. SYDNEY could easily lose contact. So SYDNEY gave chase, but could not readily identify the ship until she had caught up, and only then made a turn away to get a broadside view. Meanwhile, KORMORAN identified herself as the Dutch freighter STRAAT MALAKKA. A close broadside inspection would show that claim to be false, but a stern view from a longer distance would be ambiguous. KORMORAN's captain never really admitted what was going through his mind, but I think he was playing for time, gambling that he might be able to stall SYDNEY until darkness, and then get away. More, at close range, two of SYDNEY's advantages over KORMORAN would vanish:

a) at close range, SYDNEY's speed would not be able to come into play, especially if the ships were stopped. It would make SYDNEY more vulnerable to torpedoes, being less able to dodge them.
b) SYDNEY's armor would not be so protective at close ranges.

There would be a third advantage: c) The range would allow all of KORMORAN's secondary armament to come into action.

More to the point, it seems likely that when SYDNEY had closed for the close broadside inspection by 1815, she thought she had not a raider, but a raider supply ship. The difference is, supply ships weren't armed, and could be captured without too much risk, just as the Admiralty was pressing its captains to do. So SYDNEY's Captain Burnett grabbed at what he saw as an opportunity. The Germans report that as SYDNEY approached, it was warming up its scout plane, but then stopped and stood the plane down. Evidently, Captain Burnett decided he had a supply ship, not a raider. This was a mistake. Even if it wasn't necessary to use the plane to identify the KORMORAN, the plane, loaded with 120 gallons of gasoline, was a fire hazard.

SYDNEY was at another disadvantage: the British could not be absolutely sure the ship they saw was a German raider or supply ship until they boarded. The Germans knew from the beginning they were facing a Royal Navy cruiser and had no hesitation about firing, once her captain thought conditions were right.

At about 1830, SYDNEY was perhaps 1500 yards off KORMORAN's starboard quarter. SYDNEY's main armament was still trained on KORMORAN, but he secondary batteries were not manned. Nor were SYDNEY's torpedo tubes aimed at KORMORAN. SYDNEY's scout plane was still on board.

When the battle began, the German account has SYDNEY and KORMORAN firing almost simultaneously. SYDNEY's first shots, an 8 gun broadside, mostly missed. At best, one or two shells struck KORMORAN's funnel. Olson points out that doctrine for shooting at a ship the Royal Navy was trying to capture was to aim for the bridge, presumably killing the officers and stopping any scuttling orders from being issued. But the bridge of a ship is a much smaller target than the hull, and most of SYDNEY's broadside missed. What did hit didn't damage KORMORAN significantly. KORMORAN appears to have fired at SYDNEY's upperworks. We can't know what hits were made, but SYDNEY immediately stopped firing her main armament. It seems likely that the fire control tower, directly behind the bridge, was hit and disabled, stopping SYDNEY from firing. SYDNEY was able to resume firing under local control (each turret doing its own aiming and laying) but a) this took time, time KORMORAN used to hit SYDNEY again and b) local control firing is usually less accurate than director firing. Worse, if the director tower was hit, almost surely the bridge, where Captain Burnett was supposed to be during battle, was hit too. Did such hits kill or severely wound him? Probably. The armor plating surrounding the tower and the wheelhouse was about half an inch thick, which was grossly inadequate against 5.9 inch shells fired at 1500 yards.

KORMORAN continued firing while SYDNEY struggled to regain shooting control. KORMORAN's shots seem to have been concentrated on SYDNEY's upper works. Since SYDNEY's secondary armament was unshielded, this meant the gun crews could not get to their guns without being killed. Nor could SYDNEY's port torpedo tubes be manned, for the same reason. Meanwhile, KORMORAN fired torpedoes at SYDNEY. At 1500 meters, with the ships traveling no faster than 14 knots, it would be difficult to miss. KORMORAN didn't; one torpedo struck SYDNEY just in front of her bow turrets. A huge cloud of smoke erupted from the hit, making it still harder for SYDNEY to aim her shots. The two forward turrets never fired another shot aafter the torpedo hit. The stern turrets had fired shots in local control and had succeeded in scoring several hits. SYDNEY then turned toward KORMORAN. This was orthodox tactics; you are trying to "comb" any torpedoes coming toward the ship, so they will miss. But this also masked the after turrets from KORMORAN, leaving SYDNEY unable to return ANY fire. KORMORAN continued to fire, and succeeded in toppling SYDNEY's foremast. This was the mast the main AND auxiliary radio aerials ran up. Result: no radio from SYDNEY. SYDNEY crossed KORMORAN's stern and headed south, bearing about 225 degrees. KORMORAN's port gun batteries began firing at SYDNEY, but SYDNEY did not return fire. Again, SYDNEY's secondary armament couldn't be used because it was unshielded and the gun crews would have been slaughtered. But the stern turrets of the main armament didn't respond either. They remained in the position they had been when firing at SYDNEY before the torpedo hit. This suggests that the shock of torpedo hit had blown the stern turrets off their tracks, locking them in place, facing AWAY from KORMORAN. More, the torpedo hit left SYDNEY down by the bows, and with a list to port, making SYDNEY's gun aiming more difficult. It also raised the armor belt out of the water, leaving SYDNEY far more vulnerable to the fire that KORMORAN rained on her. SYDNEY was able to fire her starboard torpedoes at KORMORAN, but all missed. About 1900, KORMORAN's captain ordered a cease fire. SYDNEY continued steaming away from KORMORAN at about 6 knots. She was burning all over, was down by the bows enough that her propellers surfaced from time to time, and had a perceptible list. KORMORAN fired another torpedo at SYDNEY, but this one missed.

What of the shots SYDNEY had fired at KORMORAN? SYDNEY had scored several hits. Two were important. The first one exploded in the engine room, and set an oil bunker on fire. The second one destroyed the main fire fighting system. The auxiliary system could not contain the fires, and by 1900 the engine room had to be abandoned and KORMORAN stopped. The fire could not be brought under control, and eventually the ship was abandoned and scuttled about midnight. All this time, SYDNEY kept on in a straight line southeast at about 6 knots. KORMORAN's captain last saw her as a glow (from the fires presumably) on the horizon about midnight. Then the glow disappeared. There were conflicting stories about whether an explosion occurred then. There are also conflicting stories about when SYDNEY disappeared, but Olson shows that those who thought SYDNEY disappeared early were those who abandoned KORMORAN first, and hence only had a sea level view, instead of a bridge view, perhaps thirty feet above the water.

So SYDNEY disappeared a second time. No human eye ever saw her again. SYDNEY was due in Fremantle on 20 November, but it wasn't until the evening of 23 November that the Australian Navy Office radioed SYDNEY ordering her to break radio silence. The first air search did not go out until the morning of 24 November. Incredibly, the search planes were initially told to look for SYDNEY. Thinking they were looking for a 555 foot cruiser, they flew high. The high altitude enabled the planes to search a much broader area. It also made searching for wreckage and survivors much more difficult. Air and sea searches continued until 29 November, but only a life belt and a Carley float were recovered. What made this odd was that a good deal of debris from KORMORAN as well as 400 odd KORMORAN survivors was recovered.

Olson shows us that the battle was fought under circumstances that exposed all the flaws on the British side, and few of the German ones. In order:

1. The Admiralty instructions, stressing the capture of enemy merchant shipping, could not be accomplished without great danger. Significantly, within a month of SYDNEY's loss, revised instructions came out from the Admiralty, stressing destruction of raiders and merchantmen. Never again did a Royal Navy ship set out to capture an enemy ship. Several enemy ships were captured in the course of the war, but this came from sudden advantages in the heat of battle, not as part of a plan at the outset of fighting. (Admiralty fault.)

2. SYDNEY was not built for a close action. As the CORNWALL-PINGUIN battle had shown, even a heavy cruiser could be disabled by a raider. CORNWALL was lucky; SYDNEY was not. SYDNEY, after two years of war, was still loaded with combustibles, paint and wood being far too prominent in her construction. Nor were SYDNEY's secondary guns protected. In a close range action, the gun crews would be blown to bits. Similarly, the torpedo firing stations were not protected against close fire.(Admiralty fault.)

3. SYDNEY sighted KORMORAN from the worst possible angle, the stern, which forced a long chase, and made ship recognition difficult. It also dragged out the chase until evening was near, putting some pressure of Captain Burnett to close before nightfall. (Bad luck.)

4. Captain Burnett was preparing a boarding party, so SYDNEY had to stop. This robbed him of maneuverability. The close range meant his armor gave less protection. He did not have either his secondary armament, nor his port torpedo tubes manned. To be sure, they likely would have been quickly killed, but they also might have fired some shots that could have halted KORMORAN's fire. He also did not launch SYDNEY's float plane, a bad error. 120 gallons of aviation gasoline sitting amidships was a serious fire hazard. It also deprived SYDNEY of a rescue source. Had the plane been launched, it could have called for help, getting a rescue started much earlier. At worst, it could have flown the 220 miles to Australia, and instigated a rescue. (Captain Burnett's fault, Admiralty fault for poor doctrine)

5. The preponderance of the evidence is that Captain Burnett did not break radio silence to report the mystery ship. Olson does describe several stories by witnesses who claim to have heard messages from SYDNEY, but he thinks the witnesses were mistaken or worse. I agree with him. Why shouldn't SYDNEY have reported the discovery? Remember that when CORNWALL had its encounter with a raider, it broke silence. But CORNWALL's captain was criticized for breaking silence. The other answer seems to be that Captain Burnett thought he had a raider supply ship which meant a) there was no need to break silence as SYDNEY could certainly handle and unarmed merchantman and b) if it was a supply ship, capturing it without breaking silence would keep the raider it was supplying ignorant of the capture. It might enable the Royal Navy to track down the raider later.(Captain Burnett's fault, Admiralty fault for poor doctrine, bad luck.)

6. When the action began, SYDNEY and KORMORAN began firing almost simultaneously. SYDNEY's first salvo was high, doing little damage. Almost surely this is because Captain Burnett was following doctrine, and trying to shoot up KORMORAN's bridge to kill KORMORAN's officers and prevent their scuttling KORMORAN. KORMORAN's fire also was aimed high, at the much bigger target SYDNEY's upperworks provided. It did far more damage, most likely by knocking out the fire control, paralyzing SYDNEY's shooting when fast shooting was most necessary. It gave KORMORAN time to damage SYDNEY, and distracted attention from the torpedoes KORMORAN fired, which did the biggest damage to SYDNEY. It may also have killed Captain Burnett and some of his officers. (Admiralty fault for doctrine, bad luck, Captain Burnett's fault---if he was alive.)

7. Early in the action, SYDNEY's foremast toppled, taking the main AND auxiliary radio aerials with it. Result: SYDNEY couldn't call for help. (Admiralty fault for poor design, bad luck.)

8. After being struck by a torpedo, SYDNEY turned toward KORMORAN, trying to comb the tracks of other torpedoes. This was accepted doctrine, a reaction to the Battle of Jutland in World War I, where the commander had turned away from oncoming torpedoes and lost contact with the enemy. But this assumed that a ship was still in fighting condition. By this time, SYDNEY's bow turrets were out of action, and her stern ones were likely jammed on their tracks, and could not "follow" KORMORAN. Her secondary armament and port torpedo tubes, if not out of action, could not be fired for lack of protection from KORMORAN's fire. Turning toward KORMORAN just shortened the range, and, as SYDNEY passed astern of KORMORAN, enabled KORMORAN's port guns, not overheated from rapid firing, to come into action. The turn also opened up a new target: SYDNEY's starboard side. SYDNEY's starboard lifeboats were shot to pieces, as the port ones had been, and more crew were killed. Worse, the torpedo hit had flooded SYDNEY's bows, causing her to list to port and be down by the bow. This raised SYDNEY's waterline, perhaps enough to expose the part not protected by armor. Result: any hits KORMORAN made were likely to penetrate, causing more damage, destroying watertight integrity, and starting more fires. It did give SYDNEY a chance to fire her starboard torpedo tubes, but as it turned out, none of SYDNEY's hit. (Admiralty fault for poor tactics, poor command given by whoever, bad luck.)

9. Earlier in the action, SYDNEY had scored several hits on KORMORAN. Two proved fatal:

a) The first exploded in the fuel bunker, set the oil fuel on fire, and forced the eventual abandonment of the engine room.
b) The second hit destroyed the main fire fighting apparatus, and the auxiliary apparatus was not capable of controlling the fire.

I think that if SYDNEY had not made these two hits, KORMORAN would have followed SYDNEY and sunk her, probably with torpedoes. KORMORAN did fire one torpedo as SYDNEY limped away, but missed. KORMORAN's engines had stopped by then, and there was no chance of pursuit. Had KORMORAN pursued and sunk SYDNEY, there's a chance that KORMORAN could have rescued some of SYDNEY's survivors. As it was, SYDNEY limped away, possibly getting at far as 20 miles from KORMORAN before sinking. This was much too far for KORMORAN's lifeboats to have picked up any survivors. (Bad luck.)

10. This part is shrouded in mystery. KORMORAN survivors last saw SYDNEY as a glow on the horizon, a glow that disappeared around midnight. How did SYDNEY sink? This question is important because the way SYDNEY sank would determine how much debris was left afloat, debris that could attract attention to a searcher. If SYDNEY's fires reached to one of the main magazines, the explosion would presumably have sunk the ship. But it also should have made a big debris field, and possibly a loud enough noise for the KORMORAN survivors to have heard. The accounts of KORMORAN's survivors conflict on hearing a noise. Yet since no big debris field was found, it seems likely that there was no big internal explosion. It's possible the cumulative damage of KORMORAN's shots and torpedo eventually allowed enough water into SYDNEY to sink her. Or, a fire could have caused an ammunition explosion. Olson does not mention this, but when ammunition "cooks off" from a fire, the resulting explosion is almost always much less severe than when a shock wave detonates it. Either way, SYDNEY is not blown apart, and the debris field is much less, much harder for searchers to see. (Bad luck, possible fault in the way damage control was conducted.)

11. The action occurred on the evening of 19 November. SYDNEY was not due until 20 November. The first official notice that she was late did not come until 9:40 AM on 21 November. But then it was learned that the ship SYDNEY had been escorting had arrived a day late. Apparently the inference was that SYDNEY would be a day late. Not until 6:54 PM Sunday 23 November did the Admiralty break radio silence and order SYDNEY to report. No answer. An air search did not begin until 8:00 AM on 24 November. By this time, SYDNEY's survivors had been in the water for four and a half days. Nor were they in boats. At best, they were in Carley floats, which provide no protection from the water. At worst, they were in life jackets. Olson notes the long delay in the search, but does not provide a reason for it. (Admiralty fault, and a serious one.)

12. When the air search began, the pilots were instructed to search for SYDNEY. Result: they flew high, so they could view much bigger expanses of ocean. A 555 foot cruiser should be visible. Was it too high to see any human sized survivors or debris? Olson does not address this issue directly, nor does he say if any of the search flights flew over the site of the battle. But both seem likely. In either case, the air search did not find any debris or survivors. (bad luck, Admiralty fault for poor doctrine.)

13. The air search was abandoned about 3 PM on 29 November. Olson notes that given the temperature of the water, this would be about the time any corpses that had sunk would start coming to the surface because of decomposition. So the search was abandoned just about the time bodies might have been seen. (Bad luck.)

The most tormenting part of the battle and its aftermath has been a) the belief that some form of trickery or b) an outside force was necessary for SYDNEY to be destroyed by KORMORAN. The first is adopted by those who say KORMORAN put up a white flag to lure SYDNEY close, and then fired torpedoes to sink her. The survivors were then machine gunned by KORMORAN so they could tell no tales (firing under the protection of a white flag is a serious violation of the laws of war.) Then, when the KORMORAN's survivors were rescued, they told the Australians that the battle had taken place much farther north than it actually had so any survivors who might have escaped the machine gunning would not be found. The second belief has a Japanese, or Vichy French, submarine joining KORMORAN to sink SYDNEY. The second belief has never been confirmed by either the Japanese or the Vichy archives. The first belief could be overturned if SYDNEY's wreck could be found, which would give the aprozimate postion of where the battle took place, and would be a check of the German's stories. But even in this age of deep sea submersibles, an accurate position is needed. Alas, SYDNEY likely stayed afloat and moved for several hours after the battle. The possible area to be searched could be several hundred square miles. Not surprisingly, the wreck hasn't been discovered.

In my view, such conspiracy theories are ridiculous. Olson shows that there were enough weaknesses in Admiralty doctrine, SYDNEY, SYDNEY's captain and crew, and the search to explain this catastrophe. In saying this, I mean no disrespect to SYDNEY's captain and crew. All were brave men. They fought honorably, and did succeed in destroying their adversary. Nor are the weaknesses that caused SYDNEY's fate isolated. Within three weeks of her sinking, we Americans were to show the same sort of shortsightedness and complacency on a much grander scale at Pearl Harbor, and worse, in the Philippines. For the six months after that, America would be badly beaten by the German U-boats off the East Coast. So this is not an Australian failing alone, by any means. The men aboard SYDNEY paid a high price for failings that were not entirely their own. At that, they may have been lucky. When discussing the search for SYDNEY survivors, Olson recounts the sinking of the USS INDIANAPOLIS. Again, there was a long delay in starting the search, which killed numerous survivors. The US navy's response was to put INDIANPOLIS's captain on court-martial, and give him the works. To be sure, he made several bad errors, but as is common in such cases, the desk bound officers had also made errors---worse ones---yet paid no price. INDIANAPOLIS's captain, in the end paid a nominal penalty in rank reduction, but his career was ruined. In the public eye he was solely to blame, and had to suffer save attacks from the families of those crew who had died. Twenty one years after the sinking, he got one too many hate letters, and shot his brains out. Worse, when the INDIANAPOLIS case was finally given a thorough review, the Navy didn't back down. It took action by Congress to clear the Captain, over Navy protests.

Had Captain Burnett survived the sinking, I think much the same thing would have happened to him. He made serious mistakes (notably 4,5, and possibly 8 and 10 if he hadn't been killed by the time they were made.) Yet his mistakes are far smaller than the faulty Admiralty doctrines that exposed his, and SYDNEY's mistakes and weaknesses. He deserved better from his commanders.

The big disagreement I have with Olson is the title of his book, BITTER VICTORY. Bitter, yes. But a victory for SYDNEY? No. Trading a modern light cruiser for a raider is not a victory. At best it is a draw. You could argue that sinking KORMORAN saved much Allied shipping later on, and hence qualifies as a victory. But then you have to add that SYDNEY could no longer escort Allied ships, or fight Axis ships. Striking that balance, I think the Allies lose. More, KORMORAN sank because of lucky hits. SYDNEY sank because KORMORAN beat the tar out of her. KORMORAN's captain sank his ship to keep it out of Allied hands, not because it was hopelessly damaged. This is another bitter pill for Australians and their admirers (of whom I count myself as one) to swallow. Facing these facts does not take away from the bravery of SYDNEY's crew and captain, who deserve great honor for their fight. They did not quit fighting, though the battle went against them from the start. Raising the possibility of dirty tricks, coverups, and mysterious interventions by otherwise invisible submarines does no credit to SYDNEY's officers and men. Ironically, it shores up the faulty doctrines of the Admiralty, which deserve much harsher censure than they have received. Add more irony: the conspiracy theorists accuse the wartime governments and their successors of covering up what "really" happened, when their own theories cover up faulty doctrine far more effectively. Olson deserves the highest praise for his skill at digging up facts, and assembling them to come to what is likely to be the closest anyone will ever come to answering the puzzle of the SYDNEY. I said in my original post that I hope he writes many more books. I stand by this, and will devour all he publishes.

Tom, I apologize for hijacking your topic at such enormous length, and taking so long to do it. I hope the results repay reading.

Best regards,
Gregory Koster

 
 
Current Mood: excited
 
 
18 March 2008 @ 07:38 am

Some years ago, I wrote a post about the loss of this Australian Navy light cruiser for the dearly lamented late SPECULATIONS. Today, it's announced that the shipwreck has been found, here:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/03/16/australia.warship/index.html

The news story is inaccurate in saying SYDNEY was a "battle cruiser."

The book I wrote about is still in print: BITTER VICTORY by Wesley Olson, from the Naval Institute Press. I think it gave the "real story" of what happened, and is a hugely impressive book. Finding the wreck may confirm Olson's version.

I'm even more impressed that Tom Williams of the late dearly lamented Rumor Mill, remembered my interest and got in touch with me. Thanks Tom! Finding me was a detective feat on the same scale as Olson's book. I will see if I can retrieve that post from the Rumor Mill archives via the Wayback machine.

 
 
Current Mood: impressed
Current Music: "The Glory of the Yankee Navy" by John Philip Sousa
 
 
17 March 2008 @ 11:32 pm
 I wish the Frito-Lay people didn't have the power to read minds:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1X2qT7Ki29Y

I don't have the tools to fix this.
 
 
Current Mood: Puckish
Current Music: "The Corcoran Cadets" by John Philip Sousa
 
 
16 March 2008 @ 10:57 pm

I took three days off last week and went to Astoria, Oregon, just to get away from the home ground. Drove down US 101 instead of I-5. I don't know if you heard about it last December, but they had a hell of a big flood south of Chehalis. The damage is still quite noticeable. Want firewood? Plenty of dead trees, still waiting to be hauled away.

I had never stayed in Astoria before. What a great town. Best part for me was the maritime museum. It had a great exhibit on the difficulties of piloting ships through the "bar" where the 4-7 knot current bearing 265,000 cubic feet per second smacks square into the Pacific Ocean. It has to be one of the worst places for ships in North America. More than 2000 wrecks. The view from Cape Disappointment was spectacular.

But the most spectacular event came from my relations. I was staying at the Rose River bed and breakfast, and had mentioned this to, among others, my uncle Russell in Illinois. As you can deduce, Sterling Illinois is in the Central Time Zone, not the Pacific Time Zone, which is two hours ahead. Not two hours behind as Russell thought. Result: the landlady is pounding on my door at six ack emma, saying I had a call. I told her I wasn't Hillary Clinton, and the call should have come three hours earlier. She didn't laugh, because I didn't actually say this. Even if I had thought this, I doubt if I would have had the nerve to say so. I did tell Russell that the time difference was two hours the other way, and that I hoped Barack Obama would be elected and audit hell out of him with May corn futures selling at $5.64 per bushel (Russell is the former chairman of the Whiteside County Republican Party and a corn farmer.)

I had a fine time, though not so frabjous as Linz. 

Skyward ho!
Lord Pomposo

 
 
Current Mood: industrious
Current Music: "The Blue Danube" by Johan Strauss conducted by Herbert von Karajan
 
 
11 March 2008 @ 09:38 am

I could say I am going to the Oregon coast for two days just for time off. Or I could say I am going to give Eliot more advice on ettiquette. Namely, how much to give the nice men who are trying to stuff him in jail. Just because they're trying to jug you and the nice five thousand buck ladies is no reason not to have manners.

 
 
Current Mood: Anticipatory
Current Music: "Rhapsody in Blue" by George Gershwin
 
 
09 March 2008 @ 11:28 pm

You could always look him up in Google images. Or you could watch BALLOT BOX BUNNY where Yosemite Sam and Bugs Bunny run against each other for Mayor (losing to Dark Horse.) In the course of celebrating all the virtues of mid-centry America (handy explosives in every house, manufactured by the good old Acme Company) Sam is blown up regularly, with most of his mustache and beard blown off. Result: Mel.

 
 
Current Mood: Puckish
Current Music: Theme from THE NAME OF THE GAME by Dave Grusin
 
 
 
 

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